AMA Boyfriend - S01 E04

Story 6 days ago

AMA Boyfriend - S01 E04

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 4

She stopped, biting her lip and thinking. "Your choice. I want people to know that I'm yours, in every way. I deserve way more than one red ass cheek. But it could also raise questions."

"Cover it," I said. I actually didn't think answering questions would be the problem, it would be if anyone stared again.

"OK," she said. She unzipped her luggage and dug through it, coming out with a pair of black tights and zipping it back up.

When we were back in the truck, Cassidy slipped her daisy dukes off her hips and down her legs, revealing the slim maroon bikini-style panties she was wearing.

"Hold on, let me see it," I said, and she shifted in the seat to show me her ass. There was a clear red handprint on her ass still. "Fuck, I'm going to need to rub some aloe on that before you wear a bikini."

"You don't have to," she said. "I'll tell everyone I asked for it."

"No," I said. "No. I'm going to make sure we take care of that."

"OK," she said quietly, then sat back down and started pulling on her tights. "Thank you, Tiger."

She pulled on the tights, which were three-quarter length down her legs to her calves, and then pulled the daisy dukes back on over them. Once she was settled, I put the truck in motion and we were headed north up the river, looking for the pier where we were supposed to meet the group.

A dozen women and a few significant others - all models, cosplayers and streamers - coming together for a week of houseboat vacations and photoshoots in costumes, bikinis or whatever else they brought with them. And my fiance wanted me to have sex with any of them that I wanted.

I turned to Cassidy and shook my head, still struggling in my head and my heart. I reached over and used a couple fingers to sweep some loose hair behind her ear, and she turned to me questioningly. "I do still love you," I said. "It's just hard to like you right now."

She pressed her lips together, eyes brimming with tears again, and she nodded. The conflict there, happy I said it, guilt-ridden that I said it, is what made me know this wasn't done. We weren't done.

I looked forward again, driving.

If we're not done, where are we going?

GoogleMaps said we were close to the docks where we were supposed to meet up with the group, so I pulled off to the side of the highway. The area around lake Powel was mountainous, rocky desert that turned an orangey red in the right light - the whole area was gorgeous, and from the photos we'd looked at when Cassidy was offered a spot on the trip it looked like the blue of the winding lake gave the place a magical quality.

"What's wrong?" Cassidy asked.

"We need to talk more," I said. "And you probably want to redo your makeup while we do."

"Good idea," she sighed, pulling down the sun visor and checking in the little mirror. "Oh, God. I'm a mess."

"At least you're a cute mess," I said.

She smiled shyly at me - it was the least sort of compliment I could give her, but now she acted like it was me heaping praise on her. Maybe, considering the circumstances, I was.

Cassidy opened her purse, then her backpack, and pulled out a makeup kit. She quickly went to work on her face with a makeup remover wipe.

"First, I want to reiterate a couple of things I said," I continued. "I do still love you, Cass. But I have a lot of shit to figure out. I don't want to repeat myself too much, but you need to work the line. Let me know if I'm being obvious that I'm hurt or angry, but don't try and push me. I don't want to embarrass you, but I also don't want to just push this down and bottle it up."

"OK, I'll try my best," she said. She stopped working on her face and reached over, taking my hand in hers. "This is my fuck up, Robbie. My thing to work on and fix. Anything you need to do or say, I need you to do it. My only goal, forever, is making up for this. I love you, and only you, ever."

I took in a breath and sighed. "I hear you," I said. "And that does mean a lot. And I don't want to push this right now, but part of the problem is that now that you've lied like that, I need to rebuild my ability to trust you."

"I know-" her voice broke.

"Hey, don't start crying again," I said, squeezing her hand back.

"OK, OK, I'll try," she nodded, breathing deeply to control herself.

"Now, I also meant what I said about sex," I said. "But I need to hear you say what you said about sex again, too. If you tell me this week is what you need - that you need me to explore with other women, that you need me to sow my oats, in front of you or behind your back - then I won't ask again. If it happens, it happens."

Cassidy put down the wipe and took my hand in both of hers, looking into my eyes. "Robbie Blane. Love of my life. My fiance. I want, and need, you to have sex with the most gorgeous, most adventurous women you can this week. And I will abstain from everything unless you want me to participate. I can see it on your face, you think this is about me wanting punishment, and I do deserve that. But I also know you, and I know you're going to say the guilt and the depression were punishments all along. No, Tiger, this is about rewarding you. Rewarding you for so many years of loving me, even when I didn't deserve it. And for hopefully still loving me, while I forever continue to earn it."

She was right - that line about punishment did sound like me. She wasn't the only person in my life I'd helped talk through some of their depression, so I knew my own words when they were thrown back at me.

"OK," I said, and swallowed. "Then the last thing - no matter what happens on this trip, you are still mine, and I am still yours, and we need to fix this. I don't want to hear excuses anymore, you're going to therapy even if you can't talk about how you did what you did. And we're doing couples therapy, too."

"OK," she whispered, nodding.

While Cassidy did her makeup, doing her best to hide the fact that she'd been crying, I googled therapists back in Vegas and called in, booking a couples session for three days after we got back from the trip, as well as an individual session for Cassidy, and one for myself. With that done, Cassidy and I took a breath.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you still, too," I replied.

"I want to keep sitting here in this feeling after the last couple of hours," Cassidy said. "But I think we're running late."

"I know," I sighed, and started the truck again. "Let's get this show on the road."

It was time to see if we could make this work around actual people.