Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 55

The Actual Epilogue

Well, there you have it. You have had the highlights of my sexual journey, in as much detail as I can recall, as promised. By my count, just five full sexual partners, plus a small handful of ‘playmates.’ Not exactly a contender for super stud status, but it was the hand I was dealt and played with.

When Jayne and I married, there was an expectation of a long and fulfilling intimate relationship. At least that was my expectation. But from an early point, things started to go down hill. Over the years I have tried repeatedly to pin down what caused that. I keep coming back to my military career. With hindsight, I should have quit and moved to civvy street much sooner. But I was too selfish to recognise the harm it was doing to our relationship, for what it was.

Being a service wife can be hard. Some women take to it, like ducks to water. Others find it much harder, even impossible. Jayne fell into the later category. If you cannot fit into the ‘wives club’ circle, it can be pretty isolating, often in a foreign land. Add lengthy periods of separation. In my case repeated deployments to Northern Ireland. The Falklands conflict. The Gulf war, the Balkans and UN peacekeeping duties. Not to mention weeks and months on exercises and manoeuvres.

We tried repeatedly to reignite our passion, when we realised things had tailed off again but nothing we tried seemed to work. We should have sought professional help but never did. In the end we, or really, I, I guess, gave up, rather than constantly face the hurt and humiliation of constant rejection. And full disclosure, I started to drink far too much, far too often, which did not exactly make me an attractive sexual partner; I am 15-years sober now, for what it is worth.

Way back in part 1, I am on record as saying I would never cheat on Jayne. That pledge holds true, sexless marriage or otherwise. I still love her far too much for that. It is all academic now anyway. The synopsis to my anthology reads “A dying man looks back on his sexual journey, from cradle to grave.” There were no symptoms, until suddenly there were, in June 2024. Stage 4 metastatic liver cancer, probably accelerated by my alcohol abuse. Estimates have varied between a few weeks, to a few years. I have had 14-months so far. So, every day I wake up again, and stay relatively pain free, is a bonus now. One way or another, it will never get too painful. Trust me on that one.

I am not fishing for sympathy and do not want platitudes. I am well into my dotage now and have, for the most part, had a fucking awesome life. Traveled the world, on all seven continents. Met and befriended the best group of people an individual ever could, fellow veterans mainly. I am ready now when the time comes. My only regret is that I will have to be separated from Jayne, the former TFMD, again on this 'final deployment', until she is ready to join me too!

If you have read all, or even some, of my story, I thank you. The number of hits I have seen make it all worthwhile. If you saw fit to rate a part positively, I am extremely grateful and really glad you enjoyed it. For those leaving negatives, I am sorry to have wasted your time.

I am done now, but you…You live long. Live full, and love those that love you, emotionally and physically. Life should be a gift to share with others. Do not waste it!

Ciao..

Titus..

The End....